Day 5: Five for Fighting

22 Apr

Last Day!!!


I (think I) am grinning like a fool all the way through work.

[While checking/double checking/triple checking everything I am doing. A brain that is Living Below The Line is a tired, underfed, mildly psychotic brain, and thus not a brain that can be left to its own devices.]


* * *


Friday – 19/04/2013

Last Friday – breakfast: 

1 supermarket banana – 0.14

2 shots Nespresso + milk – 0.74

1 oat biscuit – 0.07


This Friday – breakfast:

1 BL banana – 0.07

5g instant coffee + 50ml milk – 0.12 + 0.04


Umm, I really do have practically the same breakfast every day, LBTL or not. Is this a problem?


Last Friday – lunch:

1 hospital salad bar salad (inc. staff discount) – 2.10

1 supermarket apple – 0.33

Tap water – 0.00


This Friday – lunch:

‘Deconstructed*’ bacon jam + 2 eggless pancakes + other 1/2 of pan-fried apple – 0.24 + 0.09 + 0.04 = 0.37

* In the style of, say, a ‘deconstructed’ piccalilli. Having discovered the ‘jam’ in fact tasted better before going through the processor, half of it was left unpulverised, to be eaten as was. Like a sweet, smokey barbecue.

1 portion mixed veg (not pictured) – 0.08

1 BL apple (not pictured) – 0.08

Tap water (not pictured) – 0.00

LOOKS PRETTY GOOD HUH! My colleagues at lunch couldn't believe this (let alone this plus all my other F&B for the day) cost under £1 *smug

Looks pretty presentable huh?! My colleagues at lunch couldn’t believe this (let alone this plus all my other F&B for the day) cost under £1. *smug


* * *


Then – home time.

Turning the corner into our block, what do I see but this:

Clearly some of us are made of money

I think this is 34p in total. Windfall! Dinner on me?

I didn’t pick the coins up, no.

In hindsight I’m not sure why I didn’t – how rich would we be if we all picked pennies off the street every day?

This reminds me of the commotion on the ward on Monday after a patient went and flushed his wallet down the toilet.




* * *


Last Friday – colleague’s birthday drinks, then dinner at home:

1 glass Malbec – 3.50

1 glass Prosecco – 4.20

1/4 pint unidentified beer – 1.00

3 slices pizza – 3 (1.25) = 3.75

Flemish beef stew + potatoes (more cooking school leftovers) – 2.80

Spinach – 0.50


This Friday – dinner:


I cannot look at bacon anymore. 

They say the smell of sizzling bacon has converted many an ex-vegetarian back to their carnivorous ways.

I dunno. Eat enough of something for 5 days straight, and the sight of it might induce vomit for 6 months afterward.

(And that, ladies & gents, may just be the solution to your chocolate/biscuit/crisp habit. You’re welcome.)

But this is especially true of Basics bacon which comes in different shades of pink, brown (and towards the end, green), and not infrequently requires spitting out bits of bone.




So tonight is going to involve a major cop out.

You ready?




The heavens part! A work of art!!

INSTANT NOODLES. The heavens part!


Speaking of instant noodles – let my experience stand as a parable as to the dangers (okay, perks, I suppose) of innocuous status updates posted to Facebook the week before your birthday. A throwaway rant about running low on Indomie can, and will, result in a lifetime supply being gifted to you by your joker ex-housemates.

Last week they were asking whether it would be financially viable to survive LBTL purely on Indomie.

(£9.99 for their box of 40)


There has to be something wrong when Esther Tan is telling me not to eat something. However, today I am blithely ignoring this advice, as I am already high on the forthcoming hit of monosodium glutamate, and am thus invincible.

When even Esther Tan is telling me not to eat something, that something will usually have something seriously wrong with it. However, today I am blithely ignoring this advice, as I am already high on the forthcoming hit of monosodium glutamate, and am thus totally invincible.



It even comes with MICROWAVE INSTRUCTIONS. Fabulous.


As you can tell from the shoddy iPhoneography, I am so psyched about this meal that I cannot wait for the proper food camera to make its way home (apparently out gallivanting at some supperclub *narrow-eyed glare).


Once again. This Friday – dinner:

1 packet Basics instant noodles, bought as emergency rations last week – 0.14*

(*15p this week! The cheek!)

1 portion mixed veg – 0.08

(Very bland. Gah. No wonder this is 14p. Carefully budgeting the remaining 5p…)

2g Knorr chicken stock (£1.65/100g) – 0.03

2g ready-fried shallots (from New Loon Moon. Back section, turn left, next to the sambals and Konnyaku jelly) – 0.02


Most exciting meal of the entire week.

Ending the week on a high.


On that bombshell.


Total spend last Friday = £19.13

Total spend this Friday = £1.00 


One Pound. On The Money. 





One may be approaching the wizened, raisin-fingered age of [somewhere between 25 and 30], but is it possible for one to outgrow Internet memes? Don’t think so.


* * *

Five days. Finito.

Thank you for reading.

2 Responses to “Day 5: Five for Fighting”

  1. harri8here April 23, 2013 at 9:47 am #

    It’s been a nourishing read, thank you for blogging this fAb effort . Hope you’ve regained electrolyte equilibrium :).

  2. sukhdip April 24, 2013 at 12:26 am #

    should have gone for the 11p asda noodles! :p
    well done on getting through the week, im extremely impressed – i can only imagine how torturous it must be with guan bringing back his leftovers etc wei…

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