Day 3: Brain Drain

18 Apr

Two weeks ago at work.

Me: Hi Mrs X, I’m going to take your (chest) drain out.

Chest drain. (www.adamimages.com)
Said to be comparable to childbirth in the pain stakes.

Mrs X: !!!

Me: ?

Mrs X: [shoots her son a look of bafflement and alarm]

Mrs X’s son: What’s wrong Mum? She’s just going to remove your drain. You’ve been wanting it out the whole time.

Mrs X: OH! Whewww! [palpable relief; regains composure befitting her 97-year-old self] I thought you were going to take my BRAIN out!

* * *

Today I want someone to take my brain out.

Take it out! Now! It’s not working anymore I want a new one………

And this is me speaking as a relatively healthy young person in a warm home with running water and an indoor flush toilet, and not having to worry about electricity/gas/transport/clothes/school fees/medicines coming out of this same 1 flipping £/day.

Please, please, please donate.

* * *

No brainpower for the menu now. Do check back in the morning.

* * *

Epitaph.

The humans are dead The humans are dead We used poisonous gases And we poisoned their asses

The humans are dead

The humans are dead

We used poisonous gases

And we poisoned their asses

 

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One Response to “Day 3: Brain Drain”

  1. harri8here April 18, 2013 at 6:34 am #

    Brain, chest drain hilarious! As is The Flight of The Conchords epitaph :-).
    Over half way, yay! Keep going.

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